Reform of the Rake Read online

  ‘We were merely discussing Rupert’s book.’ Lowri sat down in the adjustable chair at her desk, waving him to the small sofa. ‘Won’t you sit down?’

  Adam shook his head. ‘I shan’t stay. Not,’ he added bitterly, ‘that you’ve any intention of asking me to. Hell, it’s so hard not to put a foot wrong. Though it would make it a bloody sight easier if I knew how to put a foot right where you’re concerned. I don’t usually have this trouble with women.’

  ‘Which says it all, Adam.’ Lowri’s eyes held his. ‘As I said before, I don’t want my name on any list of Hawkridge cast-offs.’

  ‘Even if there were a list, which I deny, that wasn’t what I had in mind.’ He frowned, eyeing her belligerently. ‘Can’t we just be friends? Looking at you tonight, it suddenly dawned on me why I enjoy your company, why you’re so different from the rest.’

  ‘I believe you said something about sexual chemistry,’ she said distantly.

  ‘There is that, yes,’ he said, pacing up and down restlessly. ‘But there’s a lot more, too. The other girls I know get bored so easily, but boredom doesn’t seem to exist where you’re concerned. You enjoy life whatever you’re doing, playing cricket with Dom or reading to Emily, working for Rupert or enjoying an evening like tonight. You’re involved all the time. It’s refreshing, and I like it a lot.’

  Lowri looked at him thoughtfully, undecided whether his statement was the simple truth, or some new line he was casting after the one who got away.

  ‘What, exactly,’ she began slowly, ‘do you mean by “friends”?’

  Scenting victory, Adam turned the full battery of his smile on her. ‘I want to share my final fling of freedom with you, Lowri. I could get tickets to any show you fancy, take you to Ascot, Wimbledon, Henley.’ The familiar gleam danced in his eyes. ‘I’ll even throw in a test match at Lords.’

  Lowri looked at him in silence for a long time. How damnably attractive he was, she thought hopelessly. She’d been doing so well until tonight, too. And just one look at him had been enough to have her hooked again, utterly and completely. It didn’t matter whether he took her to Ascot or Lords or just stayed here in her little room with her all the time they were together, she realised in self-revelation. What mattered was just being with Adam, and if this final fling of his meant he wanted to be her lover, then so be it. It was what she wanted too, if she were honest. She knew his reputation, he’d made no bones about being averse to commitment, but suddenly it seemed silly to deprive herself of a summer idyll she knew would never come her way again.

  ‘Temptation indeed,’ said Lowri, at last. She smiled at him whimsically. ‘What woman could resist such blandishments?’

  ‘You mean you like the idea?’ said Adam, starting towards her.

  Lowri held up a hand. ‘Wait a minute. Clarify. While you’re indulging in these wholesome activities with me, would you also be out partying with Caroline and Co.?’

  He shrugged. ‘Not if it’s an obstacle to your agreement.’ He smiled wryly. ‘There’s been precious little partying lately, anyway—until tonight. My usual social round seems to have lost its charm. In the end I gave up trying to kid myself and called round this evening in the hope of seeing you. The cricket bat was just a flimsy excuse. My hopes rose when I was invited to dinner, but I hardly saw anything of you during the evening. So I came back.’

  ‘So you did.’

  They looked at each other for a moment.

  ‘It’s a deal then?’ said Adam at last, and held out his hand. Lowri got up and shook the hand gravely.

  ‘Deal.’ She smiled. ‘Would you like that coffee now?’

  And suddenly they were back to the day of the picnic, easy with each other as Adam watched her make coffee in her cupboard of a kitchen, talking about his company and how life would be very different for him once his father abdicated.

  ‘That’s his word for it,’ he explained as they sat down together. ‘My mother’s always teasing him about giving up his crown.’

  ‘Sarah says your mother’s lovely,’ said Lowri.

  ‘Sarah’s right, even if it is conceited to say so. I’m supposed to be exactly like her.’ He scorched her with the hot gold gaze. ‘Especially about the eyes.’

  Lowri shook her head. ‘You just can’t help it, can you?’

  ‘Help what?’ he demanded innocently.

  ‘You know perfectly well, so stop it.’

  Adam grinned. ‘All right.’ He drank his coffee in one swallow. ‘Tell me what happens with you now Rupert’s book is finished.’

  ‘I’m already researching the next one.’ Lowri chuckled ruefully. ‘Which isn’t as easy as I thought. I get so involved in what I’m reading I forget to take notes.’ She yawned suddenly, and Adam jumped to his feet.

  ‘I’ve kept you up too late.’

  ‘Not to worry. I get a lovely, lazy lie-in on Sundays.’ Lowri stood up, smiling, and held out her hand. ‘Goodnight.’

  Adam took the hand and bent to kiss her on both cheeks. ‘Goodnight. Come down and lock the gate after me to avoid any further nocturnal visitors.’

  ‘You only got in tonight because it was left open for Wayne to collect Brenda on his Harley,’ explained Lowri, her cheeks hot from the casual caress.

  By the time she’d explained the identity of Brenda and Wayne they were at the gate in the wall. Adam paused, looking down at her in the moonlight.

  ‘I’m glad I yielded to impulse and came back.’

  ‘So am I,’ said Lowri honestly.

  ‘Can I take you out to lunch tomorrow?’

  ‘All right. The weather forecast’s good. I fancy some fresh air, so my turn to provide the picnic this time.’

  CHAPTER SIX

  SOMETIMES, when Lowri looked back on the hectic period with Adam, it seemed as though the sun always shone and she was always happy, except for the niggling uncertainty about Adam’s feelings. She was never sure whether he was sincerely attracted to her, or merely thought of her as the Clares’ little cousin, a playmate whose obvious crush on him was entertaining to indulge. One thing he made very clear was that their weekend expeditions into the country together would have bored his other playmates rigid.

  ‘Playmates!’ snorted Lowri as he drove her back from a perfect day in the Cotswolds.

  ‘Just a term to show that none of them meant anything more than a decorative companion for the evening,’ he explained. ‘The only thing any of the recent ones had in common with you was their single status.’

  ‘Ah! No married ladies?’

  Adam shook his head. ‘Only one. I avoided citation in a divorce case by the skin of my teeth.’ He grimaced. ‘Never again.’

  Lowri glowered at him. ‘I must be mad to associate with a rake like you! You were born in the wrong century—I can just picture you as a Regency buck, gambling and carousing and cuckolding husbands.’

  Adam turned indignant eyes on her for a moment. ‘It was only one husband—and you can hardly call a bet at Ascot a passion for gambling. Besides, I work damned hard for my living, remember.’

  Lowri subsided. ‘I’ll grant you that.’

  ‘Thank you. And, just for the record, I don’t think of you as a playmate.’

  ‘Good. I don’t look the part.’

  ‘Stop putting yourself down!’ he said, exasperated. ‘I think you’re cute.’

  ‘Cute!’ she exploded.

  ‘So how would you like me to describe you?’

  Lowri thought about it as they reached the Chiswick flyover. ‘Interesting? Good company?’

  ‘Both of those,’ he agreed, and gave her a sidelong glance. ‘And hellish sexy, too, in those shorts.’

  She blushed to the roots of her windblown black hair, utterly silenced.

  ‘Cat got your tongue?’

  ‘No one’s ever called me sexy before,’ she muttered.

  ‘How can you possibly know?’ said Adam, grinning. ‘Men don’t always come out with their private thoughts. Good thing, too,’ he added with feel
ing, thinking it over.

  Lowri tugged surreptitiously at the denim shorts, wishing they exposed rather less of her tanned thighs.

  ‘I shouldn’t bother,’ advised Adam. ‘You’re only calling my attention to those parts of you I’ve been panting to touch all afternoon.’

  Lowri glared at him. ‘You’re deliberately trying to embarrass me!’

  ‘Not at all. I was stating the simple truth.’

  She breathed in deeply, eyeing his profile with disquiet.

  ‘Do me a favour, Lowri,’ he said, exasperated. ‘Stop behaving like a virgin sacrifice waiting for the knife! I promise you’re safe as houses—at least until we’re out of this blasted traffic. The entire population of Britain seems to be converging on London.’

  Adam drove the rest of the way to St John’s Wood whistling through his teeth with a nonchalance which set Lowri’s nerves on edge. When they arrived at the house she unlocked the side gate and marched up the stairs to her flat, leaving Adam to follow her with Sarah’s picnic basket, borrowed for the day.

  When she’d unlocked her door she put out her hand for the basket, but Adam shook his head.

  ‘No point in telling me you’re busy this evening, because I know the Clares are away for the weekend. I’ll take you out to supper.’

  ‘I’m not hungry,’ lied Lowri.

  Adam laughed down at her. ‘Is all this maidenly panic because I said I wanted to touch? Lowri, sweetheart, we’ve had a perfect day out in the sunshine among some of the most beautiful scenery in the country. I looked at your shiny nose and untidy hair as we lay on that hill counting sheep, and I was so pleased with life I suddenly thought how it would crown the day if I took you in my arms and gave you a hug and a kiss. But I didn’t. Because I know damn well that if I put a foot wrong again you’ll shut yourself up in your little retreat here, and I won’t be able to do a damn thing about it because you’re safe on Rupert’s property.’

  Lowri looked at him uncertainly, then suddenly her sense of humour came to the rescue, and she chuckled. ‘Sorry! I’m an idiot.’

  ‘True,’ agreed Adam, ‘but a very cute idiot, Lowri Morgan.’ He ducked as she aimed a punch at him, then dumped the picnic basket and caught her to him, her flailing arms imprisoned at her sides as he looked deep into her eyes, all the banter suddenly missing. ‘Would it be such a death blow to friendship if we did exchange a kiss?’

  Despite a strong conviction that it would, Lowri hadn’t the will to say no. As his mouth met hers her lips parted in such instinctive response that she felt Adam stiffen against her. Without taking his lips from hers he reached out behind her and opened the door, then lifted her by the elbows and carried her inside. He set her on her feet and stared down at her, breathing unevenly.

  Lowri thrust a hand through her hair, gave him a wobbly, shy smile, then she was back in Adam’s arms as he kissed her again.

  ‘Might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb,’ he muttered against her mouth and pulled her down on his lap on the sofa, his hand stroking the smooth brown skin of her thigh as he went on kissing her with such undisguised pleasure that she was utterly disarmed. He raised his head a fraction and saw the astonishment in her eyes.

  ‘Any minute now,’ he said hoarsely, ‘you’re bound to throw me out and tell me to get lost again. So while you’re still struck dumb I’ll make the most of it.’ He thrust his hands into her hair and kept her head still as he kissed her with such unexpectedly clumsy ardour that Lowri couldn’t control her response. Here was something very different from the smooth, practised lover she’d expected, and somehow it made him all the more dangerous. A good thing, she thought, dazed, that he had no idea that this was what she’d yearned for all along. And now it was happening she didn’t want it to stop. Which was where the real danger lay. If Adam really set out to breach her defences he’d find out she didn’t have any at all where he was concerned.

  When he raised his head at last she stared up at him mutely.

  ‘I thought you’d be blacking my eye by now,’ he whispered.

  She cleared her throat, heat rushing to her face at the look he gave her.

  ‘I’m surprised you’re not.’ His mouth twisted wryly. ‘The usual Hawkridge finesse went right out of the window.’

  ‘I don’t know what that’s like but I don’t think I’d prefer it,’ she said honestly.

  His eyes blazed. ‘In that case—’ He bent his head and ran his tongue over the contours of her lips before suddenly crushing them with a hunger which made her tremble. His arms tightened in a rib-threatening grip but after a while he freed one hand to stroke her thighs again. His long fingers moved upward slowly to find the curves of her breasts, but when he began undoing her shirt buttons in smooth, rapid succession she stiffened and drew away.

  ‘Now that was practised,’ she said tartly, and slid off his lap, doing up her shirt again.

  Adam locked his hands behind his dishevelled head, his teasing eyes gleaming. ‘Lowri, I’m a lot older than you, and I’ve knocked around the world a bit. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t undone a fair few buttons and quite a lot more than that. I like women, and I revel in making love to them, but I make sure that in the process none of them suffer by it, mentally or physically. So my only apology is for letting the sheer pleasure of having you respond so unexpectedly turn me into a crass amateur, like a schoolboy who’s never kissed a girl before.’

  ‘That’s a long speech,’ said Lowri sedately. ‘Would you like some more coffee?’

  ‘I’d rather take you to bed.’

  She stared at him, startled. ‘You don’t beat around the bush!’

  ‘Normally there’s none to beat around.’

  ‘You mean you’d have already made it to bed by now with anyone else.’

  Adam nodded, utterly matter-of-fact. ‘Yes. You’re the exception.’

  ‘Really?’ She got up and took their cups into the kitchen, Adam following behind. ‘I like that.’

  ‘Being an exception?’

  ‘Yes.’

  Adam shrugged wryly. ‘Not that it would have progressed further anyway—at least not tonight.’

  ‘Why, exactly?’

  He rubbed his nose, eyeing her warily. ‘Because of the nature of our relationship, Lowri, I didn’t come prepared for such a contingency.’ He smiled as colour flooded her sunburnt face again. ‘And somehow I don’t think you pop your little Pill like the other girls do.’

  Lowri gave him a taunting look over her shoulder as she filled the kettle. ‘You’re wrong, actually.’

  Adam stared in such shock that she swallowed a giggle as she spooned coffee into their cups. ‘Are you telling me that all this maidenly reluctance on your part was a front, Lowri?’

  ‘The reluctance, no. But if you mean have I had a lover the answer’s yes.’ She scowled at him. ‘What’s so funny about that? I’m twenty-one soon, Adam. A decade or so behind you, of course, but still a bit long in the tooth for maidenly purity.’

  He shrugged, his eyes blank. ‘I don’t know, I just assumed you were—’

  ‘A virgin,’ she finished, resigned.

  ‘Yes. I suppose I did.’ Adam took the mug of coffee from her and swallowed some of it so convulsively it burnt his mouth.

  Lowri handed him a glass of cold water. ‘Here. I wouldn’t have told you if I’d thought you’d be so shocked.’

  ‘Surprised, not shocked.’ His bright eyes narrowed under knitted brows. ‘So why have you been handing out the touch-me-not routine?’

  ‘My limited experience has rather made me wary.’ She gave him a wry little smile. ‘Pity I blurted the truth. I think you’d have been happier if I’d kept it to myself.’

  He smiled, suddenly very much in command again. ‘Pointless, Lowri. I’d have found out the moment I made love to you. Which I’m going to, I warn you,’ he caught her in his arms, ‘one day—or night—very soon, Lowri Morgan.’ He kissed her long and hard before releasing her so suddenly she rocked on her heels. He smiled down
at her victoriously. ‘But I can be surprisingly patient when I want to be. Sweet dreams, darling. Come and lock the gate after me. If you must stay here alone tonight I want you safe and sound behind locked doors before I leave.’

  In bed later Lowri cursed herself for shying away from Adam at the crucial moment. She was so much in love with him by now that she longed for him with an almost physical ache. She tossed and turned, forcing herself to face the truth. As she’d told Adam, it wouldn’t be the first time. And last time she’d been hurt. She knew she would be this time, too, when it ended, but in a very different way. Adam was utterly honest about his nostrings, non-commitment policy. Philip Garfield had conned her from the first.

  When Philip had been seconded from London to the Newport office, Lowri, knowing she was the envy of her female colleagues, had been utterly dazzled by the clever, confident man who’d pursued her openly from the moment they met. He flattered and courted Lowri, taking her out to dinner and the theatre, and finally away to a remote little hotel in mid-Wales for a secret, romantic weekend, with veiled promises of an important question to ask. Convinced Philip meant to propose, an excited Lowri had rushed off to what she believed was her destiny. In actual fact Philip had taken her to bed the moment they arrived, stampeding her swiftly and disappointingly into her first encounter with what she recognised instantly as mere sex and nothing to do with love. The moment it was over Philip confessed he was married. He told a shattered Lowri that he was separated from the wife who refused to divorce him. But for the brief period of his secondment there was no reason why he and his darling little Lowri couldn’t enjoy a nice, intimate little relationship, as long as they were discreet.

  Lowri, furious and disillusioned told him exactly what he could do with his neat little plan, repacked her bag and hitchhiked home to Cwmderwen. Life was one long, dull torture for a while afterwards as she came in contact with Philip Garfield daily at work. He made a very public show of ignoring her completely, giving rise to all kinds of comments from her colleagues, but Lowri hid her humiliation, refused to rise when she was teased, and greeted news of her subsequent redundancy with euphoria.